3 Ways to Stay “Sucka” Free!

1. Cut off that toxic ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, “situation-ship”, friendship. etc…

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Block them! Get away from them! Out of sight, out of mind. I’m sure studies can show the less you see them, gradually the less you will think about them. Here’s an award winning discovery: blocking them allows you to NEVER see them on social media! (You’re going to have delete their family members and friends too!) THIS IS FOR YOU! The less you see them on your timeline, the likelihood of your ex coming back into your life decreases drastically! Let’s admit social media can really have a way to keep you bound to your past. So take charge of YOUR sanity, and your life by deleting photos, videos, & blocking that person. Don’t let the enemy steal your joy by dwelling on that toxic person. (James 4:7)

2. Press into the throne baby!

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The idea of falling into the arms of the toxic relationship you just left could seem appetizing when you are lonely. Remember, you are as wise as a serpent like the word of God says, (Matt. 10:16) you are a child of God, and God’s crowned you with more sense than to listen to your feelings! (Prov 12:15) So instead of acting on feelings, you act on what the word of God says, and familiarize yourself with it, instead of wallowing in sadness.

Allow the word of God to wash you from contrary thinking. Think of lonliness as your heart screaming “You need to get alone with God!” After all, in toxic relationships we loose ourselves, so this time is to regain your identity in Christ. Also this is a time to reflect with God about what lessons you can take from the past.

3. Get with your tribe!

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Don’t isolate. If you stopped going to church, get back in there. Join a community group. Go to counseling. Take a class. Talk with people online. Meet like-minded people. No man is an island, and you gradually will find your tribe of people that will join arms with you when you need them. Maybe they’re old friends, maybe they’re new. Maybe a mix of both. Some Christian, some not. But they fit you, and help sharpen you in becoming the person God destined you to be. (Prov 27:17)

I pray the best for your journey and growth.

Thanks for reading

Be set apart ya’ll! : )

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3 Reasons You Need to Forgive Your Ex!

Image result for heartbreak vintage cartoonHave you been feeling pissed off, upset, disappointed, or even in torment about your ex?

You are COMPLETELY DONE with him/her. You don’t talk anymore, so you feel it’s been long enough of you being upset. Even though they are out of your life, you still feel some type of way.

Have you been asking God to please take this desire for REVENGE, THE DESIRE TO CONTACT THEM again or just take the RAGE, RESENTMENT, & ANGER away? Then this is for you! The Following are reasons to forgive your ex.

Reason #1 Because Jesus said so.

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“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”  Matthew 6:14-15 

I believe there is a natural tendency to harbor and rehash the hurt and pain that your ex may have caused you, especially if it’s still fresh. I do encourage you to be patient with yourself because forgiveness is a JOURNEY! & with any journey you do have to be intentional and decide you’re not going to allow toxic emotions eat you alive for the rest of your life. Be patient with yourself and I promise you, you will be delivered!

As you go through your day, and continue to do what God has you doing in your day to day life and work, God is glorified! You don’t focus as much on the pain.

Reason #2 Because Jesus Triumphed Hurt with ForgivenessRoy-Lichtenstein-–-Woman-in-bath-1963-detail

 

After Jesus was killed in John 19, we get the testimony of his his resurrection in John 20. A question I rose while reading was,

“Why would Jesus, who was over here healing the lame, and sick, and resurrecting folks, not heal his own scars or wounds in his hands and side!!? Aren’t we beyond that now?” 

Then I did some googling, and clicked the first link (like many of us do) and as I glanced at the article, I realized I should’ve known…The scars glorify GOD, not those who beat him, because Jesus triumphed over the torture!

And you, being like Christ, triumphed over the torture, even though the wounds remain!

Reason #3 Because You Need to Get Mad at Satan Instead…

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Don’t let the devil continue to think he’s slick rick. He’s not off the hook!

NEWS FLASH! The battle all along was between God and him! (Ephesians 6:12-13) Since you have his spirit within you, the devil HATES that and will do anything to drag you out of God’s will.

So, specifically for the one’s who’s ex that didn’t really love or know Jesus, (even if they said they were a Christian.) Satan crafted up that situation to get you to ‘bite the apple’. He’s been doing this since Genesis, he’s not new to the game of deception. Remember back in the day that your ex was once someone you actually enjoyed being around and connected with in some way.

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” — Genesis 3:1 (NIV)

Your ex may have maybe verbally, mentally, emotionally, sexually or physically abused or manipulated you, but guess who was behind all of this? The devil himself! So stay woke in your spirit about this, because this is vital to be aware of! Satan is a prowler! He’s always seeking to claim his next prey. (1 Peter 5:8) 

So it is key to forgive, continue to live despite those emotional scars, though they continue to fade, as time progresses. The scars remain to show you what God snatched you out of.

Congratulations, you have conquered one of the strongest forces, an ungodly soul tie! So that strength and toughness you’ve built up, use it against Satan.

Be Set Apart.

Kiki

“You Know Just What We Need Before We Say a Word”

You know our needs., I say this as I am reflecting on my current financial situation.

I say this as I am reflecting on my current financial situation. At one point in life, I felt as though I was on top of my game. I saved more money than many 22 year olds still in college probably. I saved $6,000 all from my education and various jobs including my massage career.

I wasn’t in debt, I was never really in a position to ask God to provide finances. But since all of that has changed since my move on my own to Indiana, I have learned that my reliance on God is KEY.

When I mess up, squander funds. Store up treasures on earth, find hope in things such as shopping, acquiring things, and overspending/giving beyond my means.

I learned that no one is too strong to fall. During this time it is the Lord’s grace that carries me. His never ceasing gifts that I do have, I hold tighter to them and appreciate more. Especially the intangible gifts such as the talents I have or my loving support system.

This fall has not always been graceful. There are times where I want to scream, “God why can’t I live large like everyone else in college?” I am just another victim to this system, wth all odds against me, YOUNG, BLACK, A WOMAN, FROM A LOW CLASS/WORKING CLASS BACKGROUND.

Mindsets that speak total lies from hell! I am not bound to any circumstances, rich or poor, better or worse.

This is truly a season of pruning, shaping and molding.

If you are also in a season of trial after trial, just say to God.

“God help me everyday to see your glory, the light you placed within us even when circumstances are LOW! In Jesus Name! Amen!”

“Jesus I promise to walk with you, as you walk with me in the cool of the day”

*blunt ending*

 

 

His Yoke is Easy, and His Burden is Light.

Dear God,

Even in my pain and anguish you unravel the tears, the resentment, the guilt, the shame, the mistakes. You allow me to lay it all down and you are glorified through it all Jesus!
Anyone who comes to an understanding that their pain has been bought on the cross at Calvary before they even went through it is at an advantage with the Lord! The Lord gives me a new song to sing every day and this is what I have to sing and praise him about for the moment.

The Story

Yesterday was kind of dreary and somber for the most part, and it sort of spilled over into today. My mother woke me up at 2 or 3am to watch reflection scriptures with her on TV. I watched them separately in my own room. As soon as I turned on the tv, I struggled to pay attention, to what was on the screen. I was occupied with my phone. Then before I knew it, another show came on, so I turned the TV off.

You see, my mother, has trouble sleeping some nights. So I’ll sometimes give her a light massage along with playing some soothing sounds to get her to fall asleep. As I’m massaging her legs, I peered over at photos of our family lying on her bed. They were from when my sister Angela and I were little kids. I began to tear up from the nostalgia those photos brought.

As I continued the massage I realized ever since I can remember, my mother’s battle with mental health seemed to have caused me to store up a pain of my own. It was always an innate response for me to put on her burdens. We had an interesting relationship because she still had a heart to serve me as a mother, whilst I felt I needed to parent her at times. I would never really speak about this too much to her. Up until recently, I remained silent about it all. Actually, for most of my life I was unaware of how it affected me.

I Try Not to Complain

I am certain it’s been harder for my mother going through life with mental illness. Yet she has sacrificed a lot for my sister and I (and many others), despite her battle. Although it may be very taxing on me, I cannot begin to fathom what goes on in her mind and in her spirit. In the low times, she’s in a never ending episode of worry, denial, restlessness, intense emotion, and thought.

But somehow the Lord continues to carry her through it all.

Sometimes I’m still like “God why ME?”, “why MY mother?”

I have asked that question countless times since I was a child. Why can’t my mother be what I need her to be sometimes? Still never a full thorough answer revealed. More like answers to that question revealed in fragments of experiences I have had with her.

To be honest…

The honest truth is in my hardness of heart, I resent her.

Most times I even feel like abandoning her.

Sometimes I do actually abandon her.

In actuality, at times I even wish I could run away from the love I have for her, and people in general.

The Lesson is Love.

But in our attempt at authentic love, we will reach a point where we want to run away. We get fed up in our flesh we get selfish and run. I Thank God he’s hasn’t gotten fed up with my mother yet. Thank God he hasn’t abandoned her. Thank God he hasn’t thrown her into a group home! Or placed her into a mental hospital permanently.

With authentic love we have a desire to care for our loved ones even though they seem to be the person weighing us down with their baggage. I must not forget my mother deals with me in all types of ways. I forgive her, and she forgives me. And we move forward. Love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)

God is Super Cool…

Because before my ma was saved she would just observe my new life in Christ, and cheer me on. But I knew she soon wanted in on it, and the holy spirit worked on her by using me! How cool is God though? Like seriously. Using little old me to win my mothers heart over!

I used to pray when I was younger my mom would get up and go to church, and now, look where she is at! Just turned 60 years ‘young’! Got baptized this summer! Became a member at her church! I can’t help but to cry as I think of the growth she has made in Christ.

Though her issues are usually very apparent to most, she gives God all the glory, honor and praise through it! She has such a joyful spirit and I definitely believe I inherited that from her. She is a living lesson and testimony to my eyes every single day.

I love you mom. And I dedicate this to you.

I also dedicate this to anyone who has been or is affected by mental illness.

“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew‬ ‭11:30‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Set Apart, Not Aside.

“Why Don’t You Just Curse God and Die?”

For mourners:

I played “Open Up My Heart” by Yolanda Adams for an encore, during my intimate time with the Lord, I released quiet sobs of mourning over things that weighed me.

I found myself lying on the edge of my bed, in the fetal position, and in tears.

I am no longer a child in back of the car listening to a popular worship song. This song is now a song that hits to the core of my emotions and spirit.

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God, you always send people to mourn with us in the face of tragedy. Like during the time Job was stripped of almost everything he had and cared for.

In this passage, we see his wife’s cruel response & then further into scripture his boys came to see him and just sat there with him to comfort him. Job 2:9-13

His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!”

10 He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”

In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.

11 When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him.

12 When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads.13 Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.

Today we continue in mourning the murder of the victims at Pulse Nightclub. Yet in this tragedy, there are so many people mourning alongside in support toward those that lost a partner, friend, family member, colleague that early morning on June 12th.

Reflecting back on a personal circumstance, where I saw it as a possibility in dating someone, during this time it was my friends and family that you sent specifically to encourage me in my dilemma.

Also when I could relate to someone on twitter who just got out of a “situation-ship” that God led her out of, I felt I needed to respond by encouraging her and praying for her.

When Jesus carried the weight of our very sin on that cross, he still had comfort and love from the heavenly father despite the pain in every fiber of his being.

The love from God flows through a combination of scripture, situations, other people and is given directly to the people who accept him, love him and know they need him. For he is love & God’s love is for us!

Whether we like it or not.

Whether we feel it or not.

Even when we don’t ask for it.

Even if we don’t believe it.

Even when we think he’s unavailable.

Many times it takes closing your eyes in prayer, in order to open your eyes to the love of our Lord.

He is so good!

Be set apart, not aside! ❤

Remember You Are Sold Out.

To those who are reconciled to Christ Jesus,

Declare this over yourself today:

You are not on layaway.

You are not on clearance.

You are not for sale.

You have already been bought, and it wasn’t a cheap bidder.

So tell the world, and your past self, that you are reserved for a purpose!

& Remember saints,

Be.

Set.

Apart.

Not.

Aside.